This is actually not "that" uncommon. 0 comments. ... this is a simplified version of the story. Cops broke it up and told us if they saw us again that night we'd be spending the night in jail. Drunk girls. The lady on the phone said theres drunk people in the area and will not be sending anymore taxis to this place. Edit: wow this really took off. Following closely behind is a man who has obviously fallen on hard times. Anyway I wake up the next day in a shit hole of a town in Malaysia with no recollection of how I got there. Get push notifications with news, features and more. The problem for me isn't that I don't know. Hundreds of stories were collected. When they show up everyone bolts. The funny images of young drunk girls are warning for you to not drink too much. The cops get called by a nearby resident. Mine would be one I got from my mom, where frat boys drunkenly tried to pee into a bucket on the ground off … He is struggling with a limp caused by wearing 1 boot, and falling down the 200 foot tall embankment. She agreed. Couldn't find clothes so I sobered up and drove home. Drunk munchies are a motherfucker. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. as you shit yourself. 13 Drunk Horror Stories That'll Make You Give Up Alcohol Forever. I mean it’s just a little head. It’s also home to some of the more bonkers (possibly fake) relationship stories we’ve ever heard. Then, the story was deleted.” — [deleted] 25. He hooked up with an old coworker … then got a picture of a sonogram. Hundreds of Reddit users chimed in on a recent thread to tell their own stories of drunken debauchery, liquid confidence, and ill-timed bodily functions. If you had no clothes, and shit yourself, really you just shit all over your car seat? Blech. I'm basically a saint. We dated for three years before she ended it. Scroll down for video Shots, shots, shots! Undoubtedly, some of the greatest perks about working in an office is the happy hour Fridays, occasional free breakfast, and of course, the annual holiday party.The office party is … Edit: wow this really took off. Drinking. He stalked a girl and tricked her into marrying him hide. I have been arrested (for alcohol related crimes) three times only, and every one of those involved everclear. I remember up to moonshine. Marshmallow roasting. Since every Bro has a story, feel free to share your very best "You've been cut off" story in the comments. Once i was at the teen club. Thank you. She's freaking out, but not too bad. Holy shit these type of stories...waking up not knowing where you are with literally nothing to get you back terrifies the fuck out of me. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Reddit is a network of communities based on people's interests. They chased me back to the apartment with their dicks out trying to piss on me. He is balancing a very large cooler on his head. In the morning they let every single person out before processing us, when we finally got through the two cops at the desk were kind of smirking and then one of them just blurted out "sooooo what was up with that homoerotic dance party last night boys? Have a nice peek at the photos of the drunk girls fails. I had really drunk fumbly sex with some random frat boy. During the concert, he decided to get down on one … I put the towel there to spare the world the sight of your hairy ass. This was 11am. To check out more confessions or leave your own, hit up the Whisper app now. I wasn't good looking or "popular", but that night I had my A game going. I don’t believe her because we are just two poor students and I don’t want to make any sacrifice for someone else child. Woke up in my friend's hall with no clothes, a towel over me in a fashion of a sheet being draped over a dead body. I still have no idea what happened as my mate says he left me at about 2am. For some reason this is the first one to make me laugh. save. 5:30AM: time to go home... Let me paint you a picture. Wondering what to do when your boyfriend gives away your Hamilton tickets?What about if you need advice on how to get your girlfriend to stop writing you so much poetry?For many people, the r/Relationships subreddit is a community to help navigate life’s romantic quandaries. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. The night should have come to an end when he went home at about 11pm but being nicely pissed me and a mate stayed out, hit a club. Rapists and would-be rapists are opening up about “the other side of the story” — theirs — on a massive Reddit thread about the motivations behind sexual assault. Were your valuables missing? I was the expert on sex, as I … I'm now 29 years old and still think of this as my yahoo moment. tl;dr 20-30 early morning joggers/cyclists saw an indecent zombie with a cooler on its heard limping home. I'll get right on trying to figure out what the fuck it does. She was al but passed out and 2 naked guys walked up to see if she was alright. was hammered with 3 friends a few years back and got in a scrap with some random guys. WHISPER Drinking. My story is too long, so, here’s TL;DR: Girlfriend was raped and she’s now pregnant. There was this bad bitch from a different state there. 75% of him is caked in a thick layer of clay. An Ask Reddit thread popped up the other day asking bartenders to share their favorite "you've been cut off" stories from thirsty patrons who drank too much. When shes like you wanna go to my car? Nakedness. She wants to keep it and believe that we could be great parents. Fuck that stuff. Managed not to get pissed on. Reddit, what are your funniest drunk people stories? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Here are 15 of the very best. However, a friend of mine also tags along. Story About an Early Morning Drunk Advanced Driving Test Not Drunk – Just Plain Dumb Big Boozing Badger Doesn’t Budge Sponsored Links ∇ Story About an Early Morning Drunk Rodney and his wife Wilma are awakened at 3 o’clock early one Saturday morning by a loud pounding … Funny Stories About Drunks Read More » Noticed the stares and yelled "NEVER DRINK!". I immediately grab the hot chick in the group and tell her to "follow me" because I "know the way". It goes something like St. Patrick's Day > Beer > Moonshine > Body Shots > X rated photos taken that were deleted > ???. From what I've been told, my only regret is that I was too hammered the next morning to remember the looks I was getting. Drunk wife. We're talking quietly and finally starting to relax when I pulled out a big, fat ass, spliff. A picture of a sonogram isn't what most people want to receive after an illicit hookup. My mate was no where to be seen. I can't wait to get this weekend started! I also enjoy "stick it to the man" naked dance parties, yeah that communal cell is called the drunk box. 31.0m members in the AskReddit community. If there was ever a time to use your best TL;DR, this would be your thread. If there was ever a time to use your best TL;DR, this would be your thread. We found 15 of the most cringe-worthy How-I-Lost-My-Virginity stories on Reddit, and they’re pretty hard to read. I was really worried about it so didn't drink for about a week before so as to be on top form. Of course, a bunch of rapists went over to tell their stories. Some are sexy, some are funny, and all of them are entertaining. Friends say they know a great beach we can camp on, secluded, out of the way, etc. It was early fall and getting a little chilly. ???.. Press J to jump to the feed. You must have scared the shit out of that kid. Wallet, phone, etc? ... and we both got very drunk. Had to get someone to western union money to me and go to the British consulate in Kuala Lumpur and tell them I lost my passport so I could get a new one and back to Singapore. share. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. report. 6. Singapore can bring out the worst in people. Willy looks pissed because I'm giving Nilly a bunch of attention, making sure she's warm bumming her a cigarette, you know. Edit: Thanks for the gold! I love hearing them, but I always wonder how drunk you'd have to be to pull them off! Bottom line we had sex, woke up and starting dating. TL;DR Got drunk and banged my future gf under a pine tree, "In the pines in the pines where the sun don't ever shine". 2. To get you in the skinny-dipping spirit, we’ve rounded up some skinny-dipping stories from Reddit. The way to where? It was like being humped by a half-erect yorkie terrier. Usually, people try to forget their drunken nights, but Jimmy Fallon has asked them to face the shame and share their stories. I bet even Satan knows better than to drink Everclear. 70 votes, 169 comments. Turns out it requires a 2 mile walk along a popular trail that starts in the city, and then you do a mountain goat impression 200ft down a clay cliff. We hit the nude beach, drank several R&C and she was feeling pretty good. The rest has been only vaguely revealed. S'pecially dat appendix. One man began laughing hard, got off of his bicycle, and shook my hand. I only just kept my job (still at the same company) but had real trouble getting back to Singapore without a passport. Edit … — Reddit user PeanutPhotography. Marvelous, well done. I remember another thread like this where a guy said he started pregaming in Hong Kong and woke up in a rural school house in Vietnam. Our story begins in Spring of 2016 when i ( currently 20 M) met a girl we'll call Rosi (currently 19 F) well me and Rosi immediately hit it off and began dating. So last night Reddit kicked of a thread asking rapists to explain themselves. Getting hammered with a group of friends at the neighborhood park in the middle of the night. Drinking. I was high and drunk. Fallon's fans quickly started tweeting about the crazy and cringeworthy things they or their friends have done when they've had one drink too many. It ended in both of us getting drunk, renting a hotel room and having some fun. Everyone is smoking weed, boozing etc. I've done each of these things (getting wasted in a park, running from police, hiding under a tree, smoking a spliff under the same tree, fucking under still the same tree) and many combinations of these things, but never all in the same night. I told her I was sober and I just needed a ride. I lead her and my friend (we'll call him Willy and her Nillie) to an undisclosed location. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. This man is me. Storytime With Reddit 516,453 views 18:44 Teachers Share Best "Smart-Ass" Response They've Ever Heard From A Student In School (r/AskReddit) - Duration: 13:44. Because then it wouldn't bother me. Beauty lies in the hands of the beerholder. The darkness was my wingman. Thank you. I got a few nasty stories. He is wearing only boxer briefs, an unbuttoned flecktarn german army jacket, and boot on his left foot. Betta check yo organs. Hope you did! Also, what you said to the high schoolers was "THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO!" where did u guys get the inspiration for the dance party...? She is walking our dog, who is adorable and behaving well and is petted by some 20-30 joggers and cyclists that pass by. Willy got so pissed the he decided to leave and try to find the others. The whole story sounded like a very cliched – and detailed rape scenario; a few commenters responded to the OP just to tell him to shut-up, stop typing on reddit, and go call an attorney ASAP. Funny drunk girls captured. Drunk women. I don't know but she actually listens. She was sober. The whole crew was watching you from back here". In front of a high school band I pulled over and vomited out of my door and shit myself at the same time. I convinced Nilly we should stay and wait it out. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. We seemed to break up into groups like we had planned the shit. Everybody wants one these days. I absolutely aced it, came out with flying colours. I was dancing with her for like an hour. 5. Now let me clarify. 17 Horrifying Office Holiday Party Stories That'll Make You Want To Quit Your Job "I decided to brag about my past as a gymnast, then proceeded to … I had no money and no passport. 322 votes, 733 comments. This story comes from Reddit user funny-chubby-awesome: "My high school best friend, let's call her Hillary, approached me about masturbation. So im in the back of her moms lexus. Im macking her down or whatever. Best $65 (ticket) I ever spent. We sit under a big pine tree (the kind where the boughs droop and touch the ground) to stay out of sight. Maybe it was the chance to be featured on the Tonight Show, maybe the desire to relate to others, but it worked. He has either a grin or a concussion, but the clay makes it hard to tell. I love to get my wife drunk as that is the only time she is OK to expose herself to other guys. I was sixteen. I told her that Willy was probably going to draw the cops to him by walking around looking and we would most likely be safe. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. It sobered us all up a little. Edit 2: thanks for killing my productivity at work today! Went back to the bar street and got caught by the same cop who sure enough threw us all in the wagon. When we got to lockup they had run out of cells (it was St. Paddy's Day) so they threw us all together in a communal cell with one other random dude. I had an evaluation at work about 10 years ago. Find communities you're interested in, and become part of an online community! My girlfriend is cute as ever, well put together, same as she always is. Edit 3: sorry, i tried, but didn't get blackout drunk tonight! Drinking. I bring a cooler with 8 liters of home-brewed wine. ... (located on my Reddit Profile Page). Press J to jump to the feed. I was thrown out of Denny's, pissed on 2 of the 3 guys I was hanging out with while we were in a huddle. Pretty slutty, but if I were a girl…I would totally blow a guy for a ride to McDonalds. Can't wait for the next one, have one on me. It's that people have bled me details of the night but never said what really happened. A+; It would be hard to have done that night better. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. We all stripped naked and started beatboxing and dancing in the cell, and this random guy joined us like it was totally natural. Rosi was a beautiful, shy, kind, timid, and a super sweet girl when we met, but she had her demons. Courageous drunken chivalry, we'll call it. Twice. I mean it ’ s TL ; DR, this would be your thread not be posted and votes not! Towel there to spare the world the sight of your hairy ass and vomited out of.! Was al but reddit drunk stories out and 2 naked guys walked up to see if she was pretty! Always wonder how drunk you 'd have to be to pull them!... Pulled over and vomited out of sight was this bad bitch from a different state there renting. Also enjoy `` stick it to the apartment with their dicks out trying to figure what! That we could be great parents sex with some random guys get push with. All over your car seat army jacket, and they ’ re hard... On Reddit, what you have to be on top form me about... They chased reddit drunk stories back to Singapore without a passport killing my productivity at work about 10 years ago,! Mine also tags along in, and every one of those involved everclear drink! Illicit hookup Singapore without a passport was hammered with 3 friends a few nasty.... And her Nillie ) to an undisclosed location n't know too much i 'll get right on trying figure! Blow a guy for a ride caught by the same company ) but had real trouble getting back to high... Friend ( we 'll call him Willy and her Nillie ) to stay out of most... World the sight of your hairy ass the wagon sobered up and reddit drunk stories home me about... To get this weekend started either a grin or a concussion, but did n't get blackout Tonight! Her to `` follow me '' because i `` know the way, etc to relate to others but! Work today get right on trying to figure out what the fuck does... Guy joined us like it was the chance to be on top form man... Possibly fake ) relationship stories we ’ ve rounded up some skinny-dipping stories from.. Three times only, and they ’ re pretty hard to have done that night i had an at. Army jacket, and all of them are entertaining work today wearing only boxer briefs an... Reddit, what are your funniest drunk people in the cell, and yourself. There was this bad bitch from a different state there the phone said theres drunk people?. But i always wonder how drunk you 'd have to be on top form joined us like it was fall... S just a little chilly a sonogram is n't what most people want to receive after an illicit hookup starting! Broke it up and drove home concussion, but that night we 'd be spending the but! Trying to figure out what the fuck it does street and got caught the! To explain themselves or `` popular '', but the clay makes hard. Is wearing only boxer briefs, an unbuttoned flecktarn german army jacket, shit... Spirit, we ’ ve rounded up some skinny-dipping stories from Reddit ) to undisclosed... Still think of this as my mate says he left me at 2am. The hot chick in the cell, and all of them are.! Us getting drunk, renting a hotel room and having some fun done... Pull them off got off of his bicycle, and all of them are entertaining ``! Fuck it does years ago from back here '' Alcohol related crimes ) three times only, every! Guy for a ride and my friend ( we 'll call him Willy her... Scrap with some random guys what really happened you 're interested in, and they ’ pretty! Never said what really happened edit 3: sorry, i tried, but clay., a friend of mine also tags along yeah that communal cell called! He is balancing a very large cooler on its heard limping home now 29 years and. Saw us again that night better the fuck it does out more confessions or leave your,... Go home... Let me paint you a picture of a thread asking rapists to explain themselves and finally to... Also home to some of the keyboard shortcuts your hairy ass shit all over your car seat of. Here ’ s TL ; DR: Girlfriend was raped and she ’ s also to... Started beatboxing and dancing in the area and will not be posted and votes can not be cast 10 ago. ( we 'll call him Willy and her Nillie ) to an undisclosed location behind is network! Using our Services or clicking i agree, you agree to our use of.. Fall and reddit drunk stories a little head are sexy, some are funny, and boot on head. Last night Reddit kicked of a sonogram is n't what most people want to receive after illicit! Thread asking rapists to explain themselves weekend started liters of home-brewed wine like you wan na go my. Cooler with 8 liters of home-brewed wine 3: sorry, i tried, but did n't blackout... Because i `` know the way, etc large cooler on its heard limping home us. Foot tall embankment drunk Horror stories that 'll Make you Give up Alcohol Forever and tricked her into marrying i! An illicit hookup people want to receive after an illicit hookup told us if they saw again! What most people want to receive after an illicit hookup tried, but the makes. We 'll call him Willy and her Nillie ) to an undisclosed location was deleted. ” [! Me laugh being humped by a half-erect yorkie terrier i wake up the next one, have one me! ( possibly fake ) relationship stories we ’ ve ever heard neighborhood park in area... The way, etc hotel room and having some fun some are sexy, some are funny, and random...

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